Enzotiquely Enzotica

HAPPY NEW YEAR

2009-01-01T00:08:00.002+08:00

It's new years eve and here i am alone at home. I don't even know why I'm sad... or why i've been doing alot of thinking. What will the year 2009 hold for me?

I will be enlisting in 2 months time. Change of environment and all. Where boys become men, or so they say. Only time will tell.

Someone will be flying off again. And this time I actually teared thinking about it. I never did the past few times. Does this mean my feelings have surpassed what it used to be? Could I wait another 2 years for you to come back and stay for good. I don't want to date around anymore. This entire time you're here i've been happy. Knowing i'll probably see you again soon. Then it hit me... you're leaving in a few days time... again.

I just received news at 11pm... an hour before 2009. My dad's cousin who have been battling cancer just drew in her last breathe.

Year 2008, holds good and bad memories. I just hope and pray for a good 2009. Happy New Year to me.....

Excuses, excuses, excuses

2008-12-02T00:13:00.002+08:00

i'm back online...... gosh! what? it's been like ages since i last blogged. before all start accusing me of being lazy, let me explain myself. There were several reasons why i stopped blogging... some valid, n some maybe invalid.

here are some of the reasons...

i was healing a very broken heart

my desktop crashed

my laptop's infested with viruses i couldnt access Internet Explorer

i simply wasn't inspired to write

i was too busy looking for a job

i didnt bother uploading any pics thus no pics here either

and the last reason...........

I WAS LAZY!!!!

but what matters is i'm back again. =)

Loving Life

2008-10-07T01:33:00.003+08:00

i've done my part.... i've seeked forgiveness... and if even during this beautiful month of Syawal, you can't find it in your heart to forgive me. I raise the white flag.

------------------------------------------------------

on a brighter note..... i've finally passed my Final Year Project. Yes, I am a graduand. Now I just await NS and my graduation ceremony in May 09.

Things just keep getting better doesn't it?

NS

2008-09-19T06:13:00.004+08:00

Over the past 2 weeks, one by one my friends went in to serve National Service... some were okay with it some were not. It'll be my turn pretty soon and I wonder what it'll be like.

No point feeling all horrible about it cause like it or not don't really have much of a choice. Still have to go through. This clip is hilarious though... i smiled throughout watching this. enjoy!

Open a new page

2008-09-09T04:17:00.003+08:00

i'm closing the book and burning it.... along with all the articles from the past few months.

Closed the book sometime back but I realised keeping it with me will only make me want to flip open the pages again and again.

It is time........

I've got to be strong and I know I can do this.

This chapter of my life has ended and a new 1 will begin...

Like u said, i'll go to hell.... and i ain't turning back. You can die for all i care.

040608

2008-09-06T00:47:00.002+08:00

Such a meaningful date....

been 3 months since

never forgot never will.

for it means much... to me.

2008-09-05T15:14:00.002+08:00

When you already see someone as perfect no matter all the flaws that person have...

When no matter how mad you feel after an argument, you don't stay mad for long...

-----------------------------------------------------------------

something happened as i was typing that...... tore me apart. and all my wonderful thoughts went away. now its.........................

------------------------------------------------------------------

i'm leaving not coz i dun care but coz u don't need me anymore. i'll disappear and it won't even be your fault..........

goodbye

i don't see a reason to live.

----------------------------------------------------------------

will always be here

2008-09-02T02:45:00.003+08:00

don't get me wrong i ain't angry at you... you know it's always been hard for me to even stay angry at you.

truth is..... i miss the old times. i miss it when i had you to myself. i miss spending time with you and being happy, not worrying about anything or anyone else. i miss when we could just look at each other and laugh at that. Most importantly.... i miss you.

and since i kinda lost all that..... i'm sorry i'm all sour.

i never thot it'll have to end this way

2008-09-01T15:08:00.003+08:00

LIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIARLIAR

The frustration's so unbearable. No amount of sorries is going to make up for the fact that

you lied

you were nonchalant

you said u cared but did otherwise

we were supposed to talk things out but you were on bed with someone else

you FUCKING MADE OUT IN FRONT OF ME KNOWING I WAS A WRECK AS IT IS!!!!!!!!

ASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHOREASSHOLE BITCH SLUT WHORE

^^^^that's not for you, that's for HIM!

So now leave me alone... you have him anyway. I'll make things less complicated for you. He is complaining that it is very complicated. With me out of the picture maybe it'll be easier for you aite? You'll do everything guilt free..........

I see him laughin in the back. Smiling. Getting what he wanted. I felt the photo in my cam was DELIBERATE. The gigantic lovebite was DELIBERATE. I admit defeat. I don't play these games cause i think they're SICK.

Lastly, i hereby lift that promise i made to you. No you do not need to care about it. Cause you WON'T find out what's gonna happen. Go occupy yourself with thoughts of HIM.

Goodbye my love, my mentor, my friend........

n btw, here's a tip.... next time if you say

you still care about someone

that the someone still means much to you

that you still love the someone

you still miss that someone........

if you're gonna make him experience what I did on the night of Saturday 30th August 2008.... just stab him with a knife through the heart aite..it's faster n less tormenting. I know i would have preferred that.

The sick games people play..................

follower

2008-08-29T13:34:00.002+08:00

i made plans for us.... and it's turned. all of a sudden it's someone else's plan. I was the one who was called to confirm if I'm going.

I made the plan thinking it'll be like before... a 2day 1 night trip. Before you go for your service, i know you wanted a trip. And I got it all settled.

All of a sudden it wasn't my trip to plan anymore.... more people were going and they made the plans. It hurts....... i wanted to talk and settle stuff and have fun. but now all i can do is follow.........

lost

2008-08-28T15:10:00.002+08:00

i'm lost with my unwavering love for you......

Dreaded

2008-08-23T13:46:00.005+08:00

I've forgotten what a peaceful night is like..... tears stream down my face as flashbacks go through my head. Sometimes smiling as i cry to myself remembering happy times, sometimes sobbing uncontrollably.

Even in the day, everything i see or do reminds me. How much we were around each other. how many things we've done together. My eyes are sore and red from crying and people have said i've changed. I don't want you to see me this way.

Sleep seems the only time my mind stops. But even sleep seems tough. Heading for bed only around 5am. Going through an hour or 2 of rolling around and sobbing. Ending up sleeping on a wet pillow. Only to wake up in about 3-4 hours.

All hopes dashed.... i feel it's all over for me. How i used to get over a relationship so quickly last time, just seem impossible with this one. My heart hurts as i feel it shattering slowly. How you got over me so quickly.

But just for you, specially for you.... i'll fake my smiles. Coz no, i don't want you to worry about me. Coz even I don't know now when i'm truly smiling or faking it. I guess my real and sincere smiles are when I end up smiling and tearing at the same time. Coz happiness to me nw is such a rare emotion.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were as one, babe

For a moment in time

And it seemed everlasting

That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free

So I'll let you fly

'Cause I know in my heart, babe

Our love will never die

No

You'll always be a part of me

I'm part of you indefinitely

Boy, don't you know you can't escape me

Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

And we'll linger on

Time can't erase a feeling this strong

No way you're never gonna shake me

Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

2008-08-17T01:45:00.002+08:00

you realise how much you truly love someone only when they're gone....

lesson learnt the hard way

Sorry

2008-08-17T01:35:00.003+08:00

i'm sorry i was hurtful

i'm sorry i was mean

i'm sorry i wasn't really there

i'm sorry i called you names

i'm sorry i dashed your hopes

i'm sorry i wasnt able to give you what you wanted

most importantly....

i'm sorry i knew what you didnt need but i still did it anyway

i cry myself to sleep each night not able to forgive myself.....

but babe please.....

please forgive me

just can't

2008-08-12T13:50:00.001+08:00

these smiles are fake and I just cant begin how to describe what I feel inside......

"take a picture, it lasts longer!"

2008-08-07T14:37:00.001+08:00

i took ur advice.... i took many pictures. and true enough, they last longer.

040808

2008-08-05T11:06:00.004+08:00

maybe deep down I still hope it will all go back to happier times.....

then I remember I put you through so much misery and I don't want it to happen all over again.

I still haven't forgiven myself for that.

Nightmare

2008-07-17T11:32:00.002+08:00

i was in the bus on the way to school
as the bus passed your place
i saw a crowd gathered at the void deck
i alighted to see what the commotion's about

i pushed my way through the dozens of people
and there you were in a pool of blood
i screamed my lungs out
screamed like there was no tomorrow

and i woke up.

i'm scared. i wanna call you. see if you're ok. but NO.

i'm a turn off
i'm selfish
i'm a 2 faced asswipe
i'm a lousy boyfriend

kudos to that.

Failure's woes

2008-07-12T01:46:00.002+08:00

tears stream dwn my cheek as i look out the window
the sky is dark and the surroundings quiet

and i realise i'm all alone again
a failure

i need some form of release
something to take away the pain
no more ciggarettes
i'm done with pen knives...
wat i did was took some pills

i'm already feeling drowsy,
i'll just hope that sleep will temporarily
put my pain away.

tt's y i rather sleep forever.

I do

2008-07-12T00:15:00.004+08:00

u know tt u really love someone when....

after a heated argument and u guys part, u climb the over head bridge to cross the road and when u're at the top of the stairs, u have difficulty breathing with pains in ur chest. so painful u have to sit down for awhile. but after all that you still worry about the person and think of that person.

that person may talk about dying and everything... but as you sit down waiting for the chest pains to recede you think to yourself, maybe the one that is dying is you and you don't want to die just yet. Not with so many things left unsettled and the only thing you can think of is that someone whom you just argued with.

THAT is when you know you truly love someone.

Solitude, a purple ribbon & a tear

2008-07-08T00:16:00.002+08:00

an empty canvas

2008-07-07T04:19:00.003+08:00

it's 4am.... i cant sleep and i keep thinking of the same thing over and over again.

with all the anger towards my parents... and the sadness i feel for someone.... i came up with a painting in about 2 hours. I paint when i'm angry, i paint when i'm sad.

i paint whatever I am thinking in my head but I never tell people the meaning of my paintings. That is up to them to try and read my painting.

ps: i do not want us to be like an unfinished painting... i want our painting to be one full of vibrant colours.... but even that seems distant now. then again who says a black and white unfinished painting is horrible..... u just need to appreciate it.

Solitude

2008-07-05T14:46:00.002+08:00

stressed at home....

stressed even when i go out....

i wanna isolate myself keep it all in.

and suffer alone.

Voices in the head

2008-07-02T10:07:00.002+08:00

i never intended to bring misery.....

nw my mind just keeps replaying the words that have been said

n i conclude that i'm a failure....

Hard to say I'm Sorry

2008-06-25T02:30:00.003+08:00

Everybody needs a little time away

I heard her say

from each other

even lovers need a holiday

away from each other

hold me now

it's hard for me to say i'm sorry

i just want you to stay

stay with me....

and after all that you've been through

i will make it up to you

i promise you

baby....

and after all that's been said and done

you're just a part of me i cant let go......

the sms

2008-06-04T00:50:00.004+08:00

when I feel down and beaten...
i take out my mobile
read that birthday sms.....

think of the gr8 times
and just start tearing

that's what keeps me going

21st Birthday

2008-05-31T14:45:00.003+08:00

Birthdays come once a year and I had a great one this year.

I had a 'surprise' birthday party...
Someone surprised me by fetchin me from home with a ribbon wrapped around the waist. =P
Jen actually attended it!!!!
A home made birthday cake by Sarah!!!!!!

All in all.... I was happy! Though we didnt get to do the little night walk I was sooo hoping to do.

Set in stone

2008-05-28T08:31:00.003+08:00

TWO FRIENDS WERE WALKING THROUGH THE DESERT .

DURING SOME POINT OF THE JOURNEY,

THEY HAD AN ARGUMENT;

AND ONE FRIENDSLAPPED THE OTHER ONE

IN THE FACE

THE ONE WHO GOT SLAPPED WAS HURT,

BUT WITHOUT SAYING ANYTHING,

WROTE IN THE SAND ,

TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SLAPPED ME IN THE FACE ..

THEY KEPT ON WALKING,

UNTIL THEY FOUND AN OASIS,

WHERE THEY DECIDED

TO TAKE A BATH .

THE ONE WHO HAD BEEN SLAPPED

GOT STUCK IN THE MIRE

AND STARTED DROWNING,

BUT THE FRIEND SAVED HIM.

AFTER HE RECOVERED

FROM THE NEAR DROWNING,

HE WROTE ON A STONE:

"TODAY MY BEST FRIEND SAVED MY LIFE"

THE FRIEND WHO HAD SLAPPED

AND SAVED HIS BEST FRIEND ASKED HIM,

"AFTER I HURT YOU,YOU WROTE IN THE SAND

AND NOW,YOU WRITE ON A STONE, WHY?"

THE FRIEND REPLIED

"WHEN SOMEONE HURTS US

WE SHOULD WRITE IT DOWN IN SAND,

WHERE WINDS OF FORGIVENESS CAN ERASE IT AWAY.

BUT, WHEN SOMEONE DOES SOMETHING GOOD FOR US,

WE MUST ENGRAVE IT IN STONE

WHERE NO WIND

CAN EVER ERASE IT

"LEARN TO WRITE YOUR HURTS IN THE SAND

AND TO CARVE YOUR BENEFITS IN STONE.

THEY SAY IT TAKES A MINUTE TO FIND A SPECIAL PERSON,

AN HOUR TO APPRECIATE THEM,

A DAY TO LOVE THEM,

BUT THEN ,

AN ENTIRE LIFE TO FORGET THEM.

----------------------------------------------------------

I've been writing in sand alot lately. But I've also been writing on stone. And trust me, writing on stone just makes all the writing in sand worthwhile. =)

like a deep gash across the chest

2008-05-23T02:13:00.001+08:00

it hurts me.... when i wanted to hug you and you pushed me away......not even wanting to look at me.

Let's run away

2008-05-23T01:06:00.003+08:00

you hav no idea how much i long to.......
reach out for your hand
hold on to it tightly
and run away with you.........

just the 2 of us
re-live the moments
when we're away frm sg
from all the stress
pressure of curfews

I love you and i bet you don't even know it
You don't even know how serious I am.

Weekend in JB

2008-05-22T09:17:00.006+08:00

So for those of you who didn't already know, I spent the previous weekend in JB with my 2 cousins and Farid. Weekend of eating, shopping, movie and ciggarettes? Farid would say my weekend was just filled with ciggarettes la, we watched 1 movie, did only window shopping and I ate very little coz i'm seldom hungry? Cant say the same for my cousins though..... they SHOPPED!!!!!!!

While my cousins shopped Farid and I did some DIY hair colouring.... =P

After which we went to watch Narnia...Prince Caspian. Great movie. Kak Ati fell in love with all the 3 guys in the movie. If i'm not wrong she loved the Prince, then comes the King and the High King.

We had supper afterwards coz I was hungry.... but i just settled on prata.

Took more pics before heading back to Singapore.

Bought cakes for Kangyong since it was his birthday and decided to meet him once we reached Singapore. What we didnt expect was the cake to all be melted.

Check out kangyong's reaction.

ps: no pics of my cousins coz apparently they claim they're camera shy. *rolls eyes*

You

2008-05-19T23:18:00.003+08:00

i think about you in the day
I think about you in the night
You may or may not give a hoot
but that doesn't stop me.
Sometimes you just confuse me
Sometimes you're such a doll

I don't know why i love you
I truly don't know why
It's a feeling deep inside

You may be a peasant
Or you may be a queen
What does it matter to me
For, love is all I see

I've never felt this way before
This is all so new to me
Till I met you not long ago
Love was just a game for me

It may just be one-sided
I really wouldn't know
But love's so strong I simply cant resist

I don't know why I love you
I don't need a reason to
Love's just crazy that way

Sorry if I'm a burden
Sorry if I bring you stress

I just hope someday you'll understand
That I love you cause you're, YOU
I don't care about the imperfections
I don't care about the flaws
I just go weak in the knees
Each time I see you smile

I love you cause you're, YOU

I promise you

2008-05-09T01:19:00.002+08:00

Well.... call me dumb
call me stupid
but i aint budging
i'm still gonna be here

my hugs and my kisses may not help
nothing might cure you
nothing's for certain

but i promise you 1 thing
I promise, I will never leave you lonely.

SLAP ME!

2008-05-06T15:35:00.004+08:00

Drowning my sorrows with ironing and painting and eating....

ironing to keep my mind off things.....

with what happened recently i have even more drive to finish up the painting...

eating..... i crave for cheesecakes and milkshakes... i wanna see tt smile upon my face when i take that first bite. I look like shit in the mirror with my swollen and wet eyes.... but i aint leaving my house in this state. So I won't get my cheesecakes or milkshakes. And i been gulping down snacks and more snacks.

I NEED TO EAT

I want chocolates...... and candy..... SARAH! where's my giant lollies when i need them!

Someone slap me hard please??? i wanna feel physical pain in the hope that it'll delete off the emotional pain I'm experiencing.....

Whitney Houston

2008-05-06T01:18:00.002+08:00

I used to cry myself to sleep at night

But that was all before he came

I thought love had to hurt to turn out right

But now he's here

It's not the same, it's not the same

Chorus:

He fills me up

He gives me love

More love than I've ever seen

He's all I've got,

He's all I've got in this world

But he's all the man that I need

And in the morning when I kiss his eyes

He takes me down and rocks me slow

And in the evening when the moon is high

He holds me close and won't let go

He won't let go

-------------------------------------------------------

so many entries within an hour? coz i friggin cant get it out of my system.....

i'm confused... confused.... confused...confused... confused.... confused...confused... confused.... confused...confused... confused.... confused...confused... confused.... confused...confused... confused.... confused...confused... confused.... confused...confused... confused.... confused...

2008-05-06T01:07:00.002+08:00

and if YOU ever read that previous entry.... pls don't feel rotten. It's not your fault.

NOT AT ALL....

it's the inner struggle that i have to deal with.... nothing to do with you...

inner thoughts

2008-05-06T00:22:00.002+08:00

last time when i was younger, everytime i felt this way, my best friend would be a pen knife. and my only satisfaction? is when i see the red that flows out from the wound.

It's like u pull me close, then u give a kick in the ass. Then u do it again and again.

My head tells me to do something else.... but my heart, my FUCKING heart wants me to stay.

I feel like ripping my heart out and throwing it to the dogs so they can eat it or something.

Don't tell me I should forget everything or stop whatever I'm feeling coz i'm getting that from my stupid head all the time.

And to friends who tell me i shouldn't hope to much... I KNOW! coz tt's what my FRIGGIN head says every night before I go to slp. FUCK... NO! it tells me everytime i'm alone....

"Don't get ur hopes to high.... dont.... dont.... dont..."

I KNOW!!!!!!!!

but my heart wont F-ing listen...... it wants to stay... it wants ur warmth... it wants ur kisses... it wants ur hugs..............

and cause I'm just sooo torn, i cry myself to sleep each night

Call me dumb, call me stupid maybe i'm a fool for love

And to the one i hurt very badly. Damn.... was I mean.... to have it said to the face like that, I felt like i was hit by a tsunami. And to think we're still friends now, you're soooo patient with me. Only today did i feel the guilt, and i cld feel the pain inside.

Karma's a bitch

2008-05-04T22:26:00.002+08:00

what should I do
i'm confused too
just got a friend to drive me along the ECP
my favourite expressway

I find it very calming
windows down
tears streamed down as i thought to myself
i needed to escape
thus the drive.....

but i cant help but think and think and think

that's it.... i cant think of what else to write... my mind's a blank. my head tells me to go one way, but my heart wants to stay. and this is why tears stream dwn my cheeks.

I don't know much

2008-05-04T12:19:00.003+08:00

I don't know much....

but I know I love you.....

That may be all I need to know.

but maybe for now it's best I hold back and lay low?

Sundays....

2008-05-04T12:06:00.002+08:00

I HATE SUNDAYS!!!!!!!!

specially when daddy's home. A typical Sunday morning would be like this;

"Wan, you wash the toilet....... vacuum the house.... do the laundry..... don't know how to wake up early ar?!"

"Fee, you iron the clothes.... prepare the food..."

Yes he gets FUCKING bossy. Oh his duty on Sundays, drive my bro to and from religous class which apparently tires him out alooot. So the 2 older kids will be bossed arnd to do housework on Sundays. My sis normally escapes though, come afternoon, she'll go out to "study". I call it "meeting-the-bf-study-15mins-and-dating-the-rest-of-the-day".

I don't get it, sometimes I stay home on weekdays... and like just Friday I vacuumed the house, and he's asking me to do it again. Alaa.... once a week enough la. To daddy it's like Sunday everyone's normally home, specially him, it's like a MUST to see everyone busy doing housework instead of watching tv or being on the comp.

Chillin @ Le Caire

2008-05-03T12:48:00.006+08:00

We should do this some time again.... i think this place so much more comfy than Spinellis. Nice music too? heee......

look at KY's rollin of eyes bitchy look.... >.<

me, farid and darrell

dominic and KY

jazz and I
Danial and Farid

KY doin the "Nenny" pose

fazil

me attempting the "nenny" pose...

Danial and Farid

Farid and Abu

and as usual i had to leave early.... grrr. i hate my life. when everyone takes the last train home, i've gotta be cinderella and be home by midnight. and yes, i'm a guy and i'm turnin 21. Pathetic aint it?

Hard Candy Launch Party @ Zouk

2008-05-03T11:48:00.007+08:00

So a million thanks to Sarah for the tix to Madonna's Hard Candy Launch.... tho it was preeeety boring (coz I dun fancy girls doing muai thai n beating the crap out of each other). I prefer girls on the runway.... =P Too lazy to type seriously. SO hope the pics do all the talking.

oh yea, we cam whored by the toilet. So much more fun than Muai Thai. =P

spot the ex?

SARAAAAH!!! I STILL WANT MY LOLLIES!!!!!!!

Forbidden words

2008-04-30T02:13:00.002+08:00

my arm behind u...just leanin on me...head on my shoulder as you sleep on the bus.
there is no need for the exchange of words...

i love you...

ps: i know you don't read my blog, so i feel safe bloggin abt this. hee!!!

CONFUSED

2008-04-26T19:13:00.002+08:00

i'm confused.i cant read signs for nuts.maybe there're NO signs.i need a shove.yea,thats what i need.a SHOVE to show me the right direction.

pls dun lead me on........

F-U-C-K-E-D up.

2008-04-26T05:12:00.002+08:00

it'5am in the morning and here I am in front of the comp. DAMMIT! i can't get to sleep. i tossed and turned on bed, I even tried the floor.

I don't know if it's the drinks or the uneasiness. Mas I now know wat you mean when you said u cant sleep when he goes clubbing....

As if whatever happened in the evening wasn't special. Wait.... maybe it really wasn't special. But we were both sober...... what am I getting myself into.... images of you making out with other people keep coming into my mind.

I WANNA SLEEP IT OFF!!!!! Bodoh sai head dun allow me too!!!!

I'll just go toss and turn........

eventful day

2008-04-16T02:37:00.004+08:00

have you ever wondered what it's like to make out with someone you HAD a crush on?

Not exactly a good feeling.... okay maybe as you make out, the feeling was.... GREAT! Everyone around you just dissolves and nothing's left cept the 2 of you. and you don't want the kiss to end....

I admit, what started out as innocent passing of smoke from 1 party to another slowly turned into something else..... I know I wasn't complaining at that very moment. Just blushing

But after it all ended, thinks start streaming into my head. Was it okay? Would feelings i've been so wanting to push away return in an instant? Fine, some of you may call me a slut. I'd like to think of myself as more liberal. =P

Oh and after all that and beaming to myself as I walked to the MRT station, I realised I lost my wallet. What a way to end the day.......

Big thanks to Stanley for being there for me, followin me to Far East in search of my wallet, and later to Sengkang Police station to try and report it... and for the 6 ciggarettes u gave me. You're such a darling.

XOXO

PISSED

2008-04-12T08:57:00.002+08:00

what's the point? being sooo fickle minded....... wanna go or don;t wanna go...... so simple.

finding all sorts of excuses to bail out. and cancel at the last minute some more.

LAST MINUTE is wat pissed me off.

Tear-jerkers

2008-04-11T04:16:00.002+08:00

koreans are so famous for producing great romantic dramas, movies and MVs that never fail to make tears stream down your cheeks.

Can love really be so great that you'd give up your eyes or kill yourself? Love has only brought me pain, pain and more pain. The fact that sometimes your heart fails to point you in the right direction already causes you a bit of pain.

So maybe as of now, I'll just stick to watching Korean movies and dramas and just dream.... that someday I'll find a love sooo strong........

the young ones

2008-04-10T00:43:00.002+08:00

they're like the forbidden fruit. you know they're harmful but you just cant help it.

it eats u sloooowly from inside..... makes u feel rotten at the end of it all. makes u feel dumb.

FUCK! i'm just too stressed to think of what other words could be typed. My mind's a mess.

I'm gonna go get my intake of nicotine nw.... woohoo!!!

2008-04-03T14:38:00.001+08:00

i wanted to hold your hand in mine....
feel your warmth as I hug you.....

but I guess I'll just have to wait.

IAD SUCKS!

2008-04-01T22:56:00.003+08:00

WHEN WILL I FUCKIN GRADUATE???!!!!! U BLAHDIE FUCKER FOR LECTURERS!!!

SO MUCH FOR GIVIN THOSE WHO RETAKE ABIT MORE FACE. I DID SOOO MUCH, IMPROVED SOOO MUCH. I KNOW I AINT AS GOOD AS THE REST BUT YOU SHOULD GRADE ME ACCORDING TO HOW MUCH WORK I'VE DONE.

What do I do now? Try 1 last time.... or just give up and take up a new course after NS? HOW?!

2008-04-01T02:43:00.001+08:00

you should check out these ads.... LOL!

BUMMER!!!

2008-03-31T14:12:00.002+08:00

bumming around is getting pretty boring lately. Specially since I have no cash on hand. That means no ciggarettes. What's the point of bumming around without ciggarettes right?

So heading to Spinellis daily is slowly making me tired of it. Sometimes you see the same people heading there daily too. Oh and as quoted by Sham,

"it's not that Spinellis is addictive, it's just a place where people with no fucking thing to do go to."

and yes as I'm typing this I'm contemplating if I should head to Spins today or not. Knowing for a fact the others will most probably be heading there too. Well at least with me out of the house, daddy saves a wee bit on the electrical bill. I'm like on the comp the entire time when I'm home.

i need a frigging job!!!!

Escape Theme Park

2008-03-30T14:58:00.012+08:00

First and foremost.... my most sincerest of apologies to Sarah who have been awaiting this entry for the past week. I've just been pretty lazy to upload all the pics up onto the blog. Did it veeeery sloooowly.

Anyway this was last Sunday, we went to Escape themepark. My whole family, Sarah and Nick (my sista's boyfriend).

taken at the bus stop. nick and my sister.

abord the inverter formerly known as Carbury

waiting our turn for GoKart

here's a vid of us playin Bumper Boat.We got all drenched after this game.

Sarah wore her clothes the other way round

we ate at Buger King after....

21st Birthday...

2008-03-25T00:35:00.011+08:00

HAPPY 21ST BIRTHDAY BRYANT!!!!!

this is my lil gift to bryant..... just a painting.
and so we (ceci, bryant, me) headed to Cafe Delmar. For an afternoon of sun

and of course all 3 of us kept complaining about our fats.

afterwhich we headed to town.Bryant had to book 12 seats at the restaurant for his birthday dinner.

bryant was shopping so Ceci and I decided to secretly buy a cake and cam whore.....

we ate at Sakura. The all you can eat Buffet. Oh maaagaawd!!!!! like i felt fat even after 2 days!

the restaurant played Birthday Song on its speakers when the waitress came out with his cake. haha!!! should see how he blushed.

then we headed to Spinellis and I saw Farid and Nenny there. heee....

old times sake...... a pic of us.... oh wait, where's Bryant?!

remember the times when he kept telling everyone he's my scandal. *puuuuhleaaase* *rolls eyes*

me and bday boi and my present

their present

and their present which btw is Renoma undies and the Lovebox.

we ended up playin PSP after awhile

and more cam whoring.....

very late entry I know... just that there were waaay too many pics. There are some vids too which I am currently tryin to compile. Will put it up soon. Btw, next entry is going to be about my trip to Escape themepark. =)

2008-03-23T12:53:00.001+08:00

Been editing pics for Bryant's Birthday.Too many pics. and vids too. will be posting em up soon yea.

Besties

2008-03-19T22:36:00.004+08:00

1st and foremost this pic was taken from Bryant's Friendster which was grabbed from Ceci. Thus you see the "me" above Ceci.

Pic was taken very long ago. If I recall correctly, it was taken on Bryant's Birthday last year. Been a year so far and we're heading to sentosa tomorrow to celebrate his birthday.

This group have been together for like 4-5 years already? We've never really gone our separate ways. At least we try to meet up for birthdays and important dates like CNY or Christmas.

I'm just glad I have them......

Closure

2008-03-19T15:05:00.002+08:00

"Since I called you, then we are friends hor..."

So said the ex....... *wink*

Night out

2008-03-16T22:32:00.003+08:00

I was limping soo bad today the stupid shoes I bought gave me 4 blisters on each foot. Went for a swim with marc but of course not much swimming was done coz the pool was waaay too crowded.

Met Nenny in town and of course she laughed her ass off at the way I was limping. Headed to Maxwell after awhi as there was nothing to do in town anyways and we had some friends performing at PLAY.

While waiting for 9.30, we cam whore-ed at Maxwell.

finally a sweet photo of nenny *phew*

spoke too soon I think....

the stage in PLAY

there were some performances before the partying started. hee, 1st time I saw kenny and jojo in drag. *winks*

surprisingly when I was dancing, i couldnt feel the blisters at all. Had sooo much fun. Bumped into a kindergarten frn, Matin. Danced for a bit and all. Left PLAY at 2.

in the cab on the way home.... that's fatin, nenny's best frn aka my new frn

legs started aching.... n the blisters are worse nw.... *snores*

SHOPPING!!!

2008-03-14T10:59:00.002+08:00

SO these are most of the stuff I bought...... I walked for hours in Time Square, and I only managed to get 2 shades.... Fashion there all very jap. In the end I settled for Topman. =P

my list.....

~~shades~~

~~perfume~~

bag

~~board shorts~~

berms

ciggarette case

~~belt~~

~~cigarettes~~

~~wallet~~

~~shoes~~

~~chewing gum~~

GENTING here i come

2008-03-09T03:44:00.002+08:00

I'll be away for the next few days.... heading up to Genting from Sun, till Thursday.... so there wont be any updates.

My diploma show will be at Temasek Poly TCC, frm wed till friday. do pop by? I'll be there on Friday though. I hope.

Wish me a safe trip......... miss me aite ppl? =P

Tired.

2008-03-08T01:58:00.004+08:00

Started the day going to school for some briefing by the external examiners. *yaaawns* It was a looong talk.

After it all ended Faridah and I left the lecture theater and were sitting by the entrance. One of the external examiners later came out, looked at us and said,

"Well done... you all did a good job. Can enjoy yourself now."

To which Faridah and I looked at each other and burst out laughing. It's like he was praising the wrong 2 people.

Faridah and I

her boards

I then headed to town to fetch Jiahui aka Bobo frm her dental appointment and we headed to City Hall to meet Dominic and go to the IT fair to meet Josh. =)

Accompanied Josh and Denny for awhile and then we headed to Marina Secret Recipe to have cakes....

Jiahui and Dominic

Strawberry cheesecake

Blueberry cheesecake

Blackforest

You know how cheesecakes never fail to make me smile.... heee. I was smiling to myself. Would soooo love to thank Dominic for the treat. Jiahui and I kinda said nxt time we go out, me and her wld treat him to something else.

Jko Donuts

got 3 donuts on me.... was supposedly 1 for jiahui, me and josh each. but apparently josh didnt want it

We went to Cecila's Fusion show @ NYP after the IT fair.... didnt take photos though. After that we walked all the way to Ang Mo Kio (did I mention my legs are now aching...) and had dinner at Banquet. We just cam whored all the way after that.

*********

Town-ing

2008-03-06T02:00:00.003+08:00

Now that projects are all over and I have no job I realise I been spending alot of time chilling with my friends in town. And as usual, at Spins Heeren. We're there like all the time we start to recognise some of the other regulars as well.....

farid acting all cutesy...

farid, ed and I... we were waiting for fazil

and look who i bumped into... ever darling Eunice. how i miss her...

we headed to BK Liat towers to have dinner. Fazil's happily eatin his fries after meetin up with the bouncy guy who uses the 'subway' *ohmagaaawd* pardon my bitchiness. LOL!~

here's a random vid I took while we were eating. lol. all behaving like total bimbos.

2008-03-05T03:02:00.002+08:00

You say you have Isolophobia, and yet you push me away when I want to be by your side. You'll never be alone. But I guess that shadow from your past won't move aside anytime soon for you to welcome love again.

Nyctophobia too.... hahaa! i could be your light at the end of a daaaark daaaark tunnel.

This fear of yours, i cant help you out with.... Kakorrhaphiophobia. You've failed trying to make me forget about being with you. =P Cause I'm foolish when it comes to love.

1st few days of March

2008-03-04T01:30:00.005+08:00

Been hangin alot with nenny lately. Oh well, submissions are over and Nenny just got her money. So of course we chill. She makes a very very entertaining buddy. All her crazy antiques will just baffle you.

waiting for the guys outside PLAY... me and her decided not to go in... by the way, notice the Ya Kun Kaya sign behind?

me wonders if it's one of the 4 franchises that Franco's grandad owns.

Again met up with Nenny today. Was innitially with Farid and Dominic. Nenny joined us later. Dom and Farid just looked half dead. Club till early this morning and both didnt get sleep. =P

Farid and Nenny

Dom the sleepyhead..

This happened when we were leavin town.... Nenny was trying to get her bag off her back. This video made me smile to myself on the train to Yio Chu Kang. Decided to meet Marc for a swim.

And after dad I thought I'll give dad a chance to shave/trim my head. Instead I think he kinda destroyed it...... you be the judge.... how? vv

2008-02-25T23:19:00.001+08:00

SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD
SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD
SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD
SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD SAD

what else is there to say? I know for a fact a certain someone out there is reading these entries and havin a ball of a time laughing at me. SCREW KARMA!!!! =(

2008-02-25T22:40:00.001+08:00

to let go is probably the greatest way to show how deep your love is for someone...... <3

FYP drawings

2008-02-24T16:38:00.005+08:00

So, I had presentation last Friday and it went horribly wrong. I mean I expected it to not go so well cause i know Suhan the bitch is gonna be there but it was worse than I expected. Which totally irritated me.

The way she put me down and all. She caused a major uproar after the presentation. Faridah ended up crying. This other guy was soo pissed with her too.

anyway she said she didn't like my drawings. but wtf??!!! i been presenting my drawings to my tutor for the past few weeks and he never commented abt my drawings!!

A few more days left to the submission of storyboards and you expect me to redo all my drawings?! FUCK U BITCH!

The nickname Faridah and I gave her from the start truly suits her character. What's the nickname? Too horrible to be stated here....

anyway these are my drawings....

facade

the massage rooms with a river flowing in between

toilet
changing area

sauna

outdoor jacuzzi

reception desk

anyway after it ended I felt sooo down and demoralised. Headed to town to meet Josh though. And to cheer me up, he gave me dark chocolate!!!!! aint he sweet?

As for Suhan....... that stupid stupid BITCH of a lecturer.... this pic is for you!!!!

a picture says a thousand words... here u go!!!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY FEE!!!!

2008-02-23T07:37:00.002+08:00

my 1st ever painting for the year 2008!!! and it's for my beloved sister.... turns 17 this year.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

may god bless you and hope the jc route for you would be smooth sailing!!!

Love Love Love...

2008-02-17T01:04:00.003+08:00

An so that dreadful day came again..... a day where you see couples everywhere on the street with bouquet of flowers. *rolls eyes*

Well I decided to give a lil something to all my friends too...... specially to the single ones. Who said only attached couples can celebrate V day.

my lil something......

met Sarah 1st thing.....

and was totally blown away by what she wore. H-A-W-T!!!!

Got this pretty lil cupcake from her.... she baked 41 of these!!!

Went to school but apparently since it's V day, everyone have already left for town/bugis/elsewhere..

So Sarah and I decided to go to Sunshine Plaza to meet some of them for lunch. We had to pass them their flowers and cupcakes anw. =)

cheryl (oh how i miss her since she changed sch), and of course, shirley
jiajia...... =)

and i swear eileen is gettin prettier by the day.....

then of course Sarah and I headed to town where she met her other frns.... and I met up with Wei jie. went to find Mas to pass her her lil something....

I think Mas looks gorgeous like all the time.....

hung in Spins @ Heeren as usual and was joined by Farid shortly.... after which Weijie had to leave for his Cell Group gathering or something.

Waited for Bervyn and Raihan to come after which we went to meet Franco, Hanif, Panda and Khairul for Sheesha......

With that ends my Valentine's Day......

How true...

2008-02-14T10:19:00.002+08:00

As we have suspected... he wouldn't stop. Haa. why? Cause he wants people to see him as the innocent boy who always get's bullied.

"people always want to break me up..."

HAA! Dream on.... you always end up break up on your own very soon anw. None of your relationships ever last.

Barely a week and I know about your blog? That's cause you're INFAMOUS BITCH!

I'm a blackie.... babe, go get your eyes checked.... you're probably colour blind. If i'm black.... i wonder what is the real colour of your BLACK eyebrows.... yeah, i'm talkin about tt furry stuff juz above your eyes. You know the eyes which are soooo far apart I can put a Satay stick horizontally across your HUGE nose. And don't call me your old pal. Cause it gives me the shudders. Like why would I even wanna get acquainted to a loser like you?

I thought you were out of my life.... booy was I wrong. No one can ever be out of your life can they? You like holding on the the past.

And it takes a real man to cry. It aint childish. Breaking up over ciggarettes? WHOAHZ! kero... tt's such a MATURE move. Specially since YOU used to always take my ciggarettes.

*winks*

------------------------------------------------------

In a different light....

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY

to all who care..... =)

MOTHER FUCKING BITCH

2008-02-13T23:56:00.002+08:00

before i wanna say wat i wanna say.... do visit the blog below......

www.theonlykero.blogspot.com

this A-hole.... i thought was out of my life forever apparently decided to again include my name in his blog.

I'm 1st gonna justify myself.... I never showed his chat log.... i merely showed his blog entry. Which of course would be true right? since it is HIS blog. In his own broken english.

Trust me, I never convinced nor did I ask his bf to break up with him. In fact, i stopped hanging out with his bf when they got together. Cause I was trying to avoid this kind of incident. Apparently it didnt work.

And.... his bf back then didnt break up with him cause of me telling him to... he found kero too CHILDISH! yes.... childish. His blog entry proves it....

Kero, G-R-O-W U-P!!! Stop trying to get sympathy by blogging all these nonsense la. You like the attention? Go and get the attention elsewhere not by dragging someone from your past back into the picture.

I thought i was through with you..... so glad I wont hear from you ever again. And now drag me into a blog entry once again?! FUCKING BITCH! GO GET A LIFE!!!!! And stop living in the past. MOVE ON ASSHOLE!!!!!!!

CNY @ Johore

2008-02-11T14:46:00.000+08:00

Headed to JB to spend Chinese New Year at Mami's place. It was an experience like no other. Imagine having your own private fireworks..... directly above you. The sounds of fire crackers roared when the clock struck midnight. Fire works lit up the sky.

Was glad I managed to drag Khid along. He was sooo reluctant to go. I told him he owed me cause he've skipped countless family gatherings. And so I had company to smoke with. =P

Check out the video of the fireworks..... =P

Spins again

2008-02-05T13:11:00.000+08:00

I had this great urge to head to town and chill over the weekend. Didn't in the end..... and so, I decided to go to town on a weekday.

Sarah was supposed to do work in school; she never stepped into school. Nearest she got to school was the school bus stop.

So Bervyn, Sarah and I headed to town to chill. Mas was with us on the bus but she joined her cousins in town.

my ever beloved bestie!

bervyn

i swear sarah can play the role of slutty secretary... >.<

hmm..... porn?

aaron joined us later

suck suck? =P

after spins, Sarah and Christian left for pool while Aaron, Weijie, Bervyn and I continued walking around town.... quite fun actually. Aaron's nonsense was highly entertaining.

Had sooo much fun...... gotta do this again soon.

BIRTHDAYS~

2008-02-03T04:00:00.000+08:00

Created a new section on my sidebar. I realised I need to start remembering people's birthdays!!!

help me fill it up yea.... tag on my tagboard or something n tell me your birthday so I can fill it up.

Great apologies to those whom i forgot. My own close friends and it totally slipped my mind... grr

2008-02-02T16:41:00.000+08:00

Isabelle went to get hair extentions!!! I had to wait for her to get it... well just smoked my time away. =P

before

after

then we headed to my usual hangout, Spins Heeren..... and cam whored

her baby donald....

So the story goes...

2008-01-29T16:38:00.000+08:00

2 months of bliss
2 months of happiness
What more could I have asked for

I'm a blur
I can't for the life of me
decide what I really want

Paint fades
Jeans wear out
Buildings collapse
feelings fade

I hate myself
but i guess certain lessons in life
you learn the hard way

I thought it would be easy
but why doesn't it feel right?

Remember what I said?
That it wouldn't be easy adjusting
to live life as it was before
If we end up never talking to each other again...

I guess I knew you would want nothing to do with me
as cliche as it sounds....
"it's not you.."
"it's me."

And I stared at the door
as it slams shut in my face...

I'm no army boy,i'm just botak

2008-01-18T08:25:00.000+08:00

Bids farewell to my hair yet again.....
It's always hard.
I will contemplate for days....

but.....
ran out of hair wax anyway...

So, what the heck....
Shave it all off. NOW!!!

before I change my mind again....

Gross!

2008-01-16T13:19:00.000+08:00

During one of my 'lepak' sessions at the 'pondok' our conversation suddenly swerved to '2 girls 1 cup' (anyway, click only if you love scat and 18yrs old and above) . I realised during almost every 'lepak' session there will almost surely be 1 person who will bring up that topic.

I watched it once.... and never want to go to the website ever again. Like I wonder who in the right mind gets horny watching people eating their own crap? Worse still... who in the right mind eats their own crap?!

New Year @ East Coast

2008-01-10T07:50:00.000+08:00

These are long delayed photos.... taken @ East Coast on New Year's Eve. Yea, i celebrated it with relatives and family.... =)

Romantic turned Sceptic

2008-01-03T13:35:00.000+08:00

I used to blog about love and how loved I was.

I used to blog about the happy times

The oh-so-sweet dates.....

In 5 months time I would have been single for 2 years now

It's not like i didn't date

I do; I've dated a few

In fact, I'm dating someone now....

But the feeling's all wrong;

that's why I've remained single.

No more butterflies in stomach

No more thinking the relationship would last till eternity

Quiet walks by the riverside hand in hand seems lame...

It's like I'm changed.

I guess that's why I run away from my dates,

the moment talk about being in a relationship crops up.

Has it finally happened?

What I've always said after a bad break up......

"I give up on love."

Normally I get back up on my feet and am attached within weeks.

But since June of 2006, I have not been attached

A few dates here and there but that's it.

So i guess it has become a reality

I've given up on love

Everytime that special someone says

"I love you"

I'm all sceptical

"What is love anyway?"

It's like I've forgotten what it feels like

and for that, I dare not say "YES!" to relationships

ps: Darling, I ain't hinting anything.... this is just how I really truly feel. It's just that each time we have an argument, a disagreement... it doesn't help. It just makes me feel more unprepared about being in a relationship. I keep thinking to myself "I'm not ready".

The Lake House

2008-01-03T03:05:00.000+08:00

I am blogging at 3am in the morning while yawning and yawning is because I just finished watching this movie.

A definite must watch for the hardcore romantics out there. A good show for couples to watch too.... so they can end up kissing at the end of the movie or during the movie for that matter.

I watched the original version; a korean movie, 'Il Mare' a long time ago. I never remembered the ending to be like this. But I love the ending of this one any hoots.... it's how every romance movie should end.

What I can never understand is how someone dead can come to life. And.... how a tree could grow within seconds.

By the way.... you can find the movie at tudou.com or www.alluc.org . Alluc would still link you to Tudou tho.... =) enjoy.

HAPPY NEW YR

2008-01-01T04:22:00.000+08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

Let's welcome 2008 with a great big bang?

May all your wishes come true this year.....

Lots of hugs and kisses to one and all!

ps: I just realised... i have no New Year Resolution..... >.<

I Passed!

2007-12-29T00:15:00.000+08:00

Need I say more?

I passed.... yes I did. No matter how my parents said they never saw me study.... i passed!

Wasn't that difficult actually.... all you need to do is read the book.

Starbucks Liat Towers

Chilled around with Nenny and KY.... smoking and playing STRESS!!! Played it before?

Nenny sucked at it.... I swear.

Girl, you're so big.... but you're still beautiful in my eyes

maybe I'll take what I said back.....

can never understand why she looove making faces.

KY and MEE!!!

PIG!

2007-12-27T12:25:00.000+08:00

Awww.... isn't the pic just soooo adorable? ::sarcasm::

This is a loser I used to know. We go like 2-3 years back I think. Let's call him Oink.

But no, I'm not so free as to create a poster of someone I hate from long ago. This poster was created by another one of Oink's exes.

Apparently Oink was on IRC pretending to be his ex. He showed people his ex's profile and asked for sex i suppose in the hope of ruining his ex's reputation.

Well if u ask all of Oink's exes, he wasn't such a good lover himself. He has sex with others while he's attached. He lives a life full of lies.

And so when Jeff did this poster of him... I applauded him. And I decided to post this pic up on my blog as well. A blue-eyed pig... how many times in your life do you encounter such a thing?

Oh, and don't forget, u can visit Jeff's blog at http://tension080.blogspot.com/2007/12/sicko-moron-i.html .

This entry is entirely dedicated to Shah Rizal Issac "Riley" Ritz. Or so he used to say his name was.

ps: this is my 1st time blogging and posting his pic... and I do not feel guilty cause if i recall correctly, he ever posted my pic on his blog and bitched me some time ago.

Christmas

2007-12-27T00:50:00.000+08:00

Not much of a Christmas really.....

No extravagant parties held by friends, no turkey ate, not much of a gift exchange either.

What I did do was go to St James for a superb party.

SO packed....... but yea, enjoyed. =)

my past week

2007-12-20T15:50:00.000+08:00

As usual, me being the way I are (as quoted by Timbaland), I haven't been blogging for quite a number of days. So this entry is basically going to sum up everything I've been doing this past week.

Which isn't much really. I mean, how much can a 20 yr old boy in the middle of his Final Year Project do. I spend like most of my time in school and what other little free time i have left, i spend in town. Chilling at Spinelli's Heeren. So, here goes....

13thDEC'07

walked around in town and again, ended up at Spinelli's Heeren. Played some card games with forfeits. Bervyn was on a losing streak... and this was one of his dares.

To drink up a whole glass of water sprinkled with pepper.

14thDEC'07Friday
As usual, headed to Spinelli's Heeren to chill out with some of my friends after school. Nothing interesting really. Typical Friday evening.

and to think Nenny wonders why she's still single =P

but of course, I still love her.... my lil SNOWMAN

Germaine and I

this hot vanilla @ Spins is heavenly.... no kidding!

Tiffy!

Syam and I.

Syam is the 3rd last person from my batch to leave the course. Now it's a battle between me and Faridah. So who's going to be the last man standing? (but of course, in this case it ain't a good thing to be the last man standing.)

KY and I

i look like F**k

Random dates,Random shots

18thDEC'07Tuesday

19thDEC'07Thursday

this is what projects do to designers.... poor Sarah has gone nuts! I want my bestie back!

Ky totally cant be bothered with my cam whoring antiques

Isabelle and I

Did I mention I went to a friend's place for dinner last night. Wonderful pasta served. But alas, I found out I'm allergic to certain seafood. Specially the very tasty ones. Yes, i'm all rashes now and scratching like a monkey.

School?

2007-12-07T09:21:00.000+08:00

What happened to good old days when students just sat behind desks and listen to teachers?

Those good old days are gone! We don't sit around buried in books anymore. We rather pose in front of a camera. =P

faridah as usual the brightest in GREEN!

Jana and Ky

Dinner at Vivo

2007-12-07T08:48:00.000+08:00

It was supposed to be a full day of fun... but of course the rain didnt do us any favours. I had to go to sch for consultation too anyway.

I seriously don't see the point in consulting him (my lecturer). He doesn't help at all. All he says is, "Good..... keep up the good work" or "Must faster ar" or "I like what you did, just continue".Consultations last barely 5 minutes. GRR....

Sorry i side tracked. So anyways, after school I rushed to meet Ben at Vivo to watch Golden Compass. We watched GOLD CLASS ~~lehx~~! Too bad i didnt take pix of the tix.
What happened after the movie...... ooh! HEAVEN!

Just look at the pics. Need I say more?

Ben in front of the Lobster Bisque

Calamari rings... YUM YUM!

this mango smoothie... don't get me started. SO THICK, with mango chunks

Herb lamb chop......

did i say i was in heaven?

was sooo full already, my eyes popped when dessert came. SO HUGE!

I would really like to thank Ben alot for this... no Sentosa, but seriously it was a memoirable evening. Thanks for the movie (a first for me watching at GOld Class), thanks for the yummilicious food and most of all thanks for being such a gentleman and being so understanding. I aint sure if deep in your heart you feel like punching me or pulling my hair or dumping me in the middle of the sea to be left for dead. But i'm pretty sure you aren't. So yea...

THANKS FOR EVERYTHING!

Mr Popular

2007-12-01T13:40:00.000+08:00

What's the big deal about being popular?

Knowing alot of people? No point if half of them are plastics.

So please don't make a big fuss cause I know lots of people or lots of people know me or if I have 780 contacts on my MSN messenger.

it is NO BIG DEAL.

i'm still Dil, i still go to school, i eat, sleep and talk like you do.

Yeah, it might get annoying when we shop in town or chill and i'll start waving here and there or stopping for awhile to chat with some people I haven't met up in ages. But that's just that.

The more people you know, the more enemies you get too. So yeah, it's not all fine and dandy for me. While I do have people I wave to and smile in town, there are some people who point at me and bitch. You can't please everyone.

So being popular aint something you would want. Knowing lots of people, definitely a NO, No.... What you would want, is to just have some friends. Just a handful would do. But yea, people whom you call FRIENDS.

No point knowing so many people but not a single friend.

So darling.... don't be jealous. I may know a lot of people.... but that doesn't make you any less important in my life.

hugs and kisses.

2007-11-29T18:23:00.000+08:00

this is my blog statistics for the number of readers the past weeks. My readers have all gone I guess.

Have been way too busy to update these days. I've been attending school.

If only that was true.....

I've just been lazing around. I do go to school, but i do nothing.

Maybe I should start an entire new blog. It's getting fuuuuucking boring.

Life's boring.

Actually it's a bit complicated currently. But oh well, i'll pull through.

And oh yea... i need a new friggin tagboard. this one SUCKS!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JEN!

2007-09-03T11:33:00.000+08:00

to jen dearest:-

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!

it's been about a year since I got to know you. And this journey have always been a happy one. Through bad times and good ones. Remember we even had a double date once? hee. I've seen u celebrate 2 birthdays and let's hope there'll be more to come.

Your chalet was great fun. Glad i could spend time with you there. Was one of the greatest weekends of my life. Though we didnt do much that 2nd day, it was nice just lazing around, watchin vcd, smokin our lives away...

hope to see u arnd soon... meet u in school i hope.

Lots of tender love and hugs and kisses... to ma bestie, jen
DiL

PLAY

2007-09-03T10:39:00.000+08:00

sometimes I sit around and wonder... what will become of me.....

the sweetest lil thing...... aint she cute? *Nenny*

miss those days when Cheryl used to come to pondok and smoke with us

Eugene and Alan....

toilet @ PLAY

@ maxwell

@ PLAY

Nicotine addict

2007-08-24T10:00:00.000+08:00

You are my best friend

my girlfriend

my boyfriend

you accompany me when i'm lonely

you accompany me when i'm stressed

and most importantly when i'm depressed

Sometimes I feel that I don't need you

Sometimes I say, "I quit"

but in the end, I still go back to u...

Cause I feel that I need you

Some day I know I'll leave you for good

Some day I'll get sick of you

But as of now.........

You are my bestfriend

my girlfriend

my boyfriend

-=o~~~~o=-

Makan @ Habibie

2007-08-24T09:38:00.000+08:00

After a looong day in school, what else could be better than treating yourself to a scrumptious meal surrounded with some of your closest friends. So we dragged our hungry stomaches all the way opposite sch to do what we Singaporeans do best (besides eating that is) ; MAKAN!!!!

By the way, daddy just got me a new cam... so yea, more pics up up up.... more blogging i hope too! =)

a smoker without a lighter = Faridah

Tiffy and Jo....

aaaaw.... tiffy, what's wrong?

Illegal gathering...... NOT!!! smoke break lah!!!

ma all time bestie..... SARAH!!!!!!!

Faridah and Sarah

sweetx

Sofree with his new do.... so much betta with the haircut

someone's gonna be a birthday girl... no longer a teen aye

mas and i!!!! LOVE HER LOVE HER LOVE HER!!

And if you actually realised I'm in alot of the pics. that's cause I aint the photographer. Mas was I think. Just sitting down snapping away.

Deroose's B'day Party

2007-08-21T14:51:00.000+08:00

what was supposed to be a party by the beach was cancelled due to bad weather. What a waste. I was really looking forward to it. So some of the guys who went to Dee's house were actually dressed for the beach.

had great fun anyways.... played "Never Ever". Did I say it's ma ultimate favourite ice breaking game. Find out all your friends' deep dark secrets.

Watched 'The Rocky Horror Show' and '200 Pound Beauty' too...

really enjoyed the company. Haven't met Deroose, Ian, Nickseth, Alif, John in ages...... since they graduated from school.

Well hope to see them again soon. Dee's flyin off to the States on the 8th of Sept. *note to self* Must go send him off.....

Sorry no pics... i only got ma cam aftr the party.

I miss YOU

2007-08-10T06:36:00.000+08:00

Do u remember this song? I was going through my Youtube favourite videos and I found this. I remembered its significance in ma life, and decided to give it another listen. It's been 3 months. Last time I saw you was on my birthday when you were the sweetest thing ever.......

I MISS YOU.....

I was your boyfriend for a day... part of your birthday gift to me. Tears streamed down ma eyes as I listened to it. I kept playing it over and over. Trying to bring back all my memories I had of you that I have forced to the back of my head. All the wonderful memories you have left me with. To think I pushed it all back. And now as I sit here reminiscing, sobbing uncontrollably, I remembered all the good times we had.

I MISS YOU......

You used to cycle all the way to the rooftop garden in the middle of the night. I would be painting, and you'd be writing your poems. Do you remember? How I'd end up hugging you till the sun rises in the horizon and you have to return back to your parents before they woke up.

I MISS YOU....

I can't stop listening to the song now. I don't want to.... I want to remember each and every detail during that time of my life. Do you still remember the painting I did specially for you. About your life.... how I always said, there's a rainbow behind all the darkness if you look hard enough. Do you still have the painting in your room? Or have you destroyed it in anger? If you still have it, I hope you think of me everytime you look at it. Some how I knew our lives would end up like this. That eventually we'd go separate ways. That's why I wanted so much for you to have the painting. Just in case we never ever talk to each other again, at least a part of me is still with you, enclosed in the painting. I remember arguing with my dad. He was against me giving the painting to you. He said I could have sold it. I really wanted YOU to have the painting though. It was painted specially with you in mind.

I MISS YOU....

The paper palletes and the set of acrylic paints you bought for me for my birthday, I will never use it. Instead I'll keep it tightly sealed and I'll always remember it as the present that you bought for me. Or I could paint another painting using those colours with you in mind. Only difference this time is the painting would be filled with sorrow instead of hope.

I MISS YOU....

Remember you asked me to work with you at SMA? Sometimes I still wonder what would have happened if I did end up workin with you. Will we still be in talking terms?

I MISS YOU....

Now I am thinking of the days when we started to drift apart. How you suddenly became so mysterious. Your answers were all predictable... "somewhere", "something", "someone". There was never a name, place or what you're exactly doing. How do I trust someone who's so mysterious?

I MISS YOU....

Just cause of 1 mistake... I spoke to your psychotic ex. You said I cant be trusted. But sweets, u must understand, you weren't telling me anything, and your ex was there telling me things. What's worse, he told me you guys broke up a month b4 my birthday. You never told me that....... and now you aren't even talking to me. I just hope somewhere deep down, you didn't delete me and all the memories of us. Out of the many scars etched on my heart.... one belongs to you. Of how you came into my life, gave it meaning, and in a snap of a finger, disappeared. The fact I'm sobbin so uncontrollably now, it proves I still love you, and havent gotten over you.

I MISS YOU.....

Plastic Bitches

2007-07-28T12:57:00.000+08:00

i used to hate plastic bitches

like some of them are so...er... WTF

then one day as i was sitting around

thinkin.... and thinkin....

it occured to me, everyone's plastic

plastic to a certain extent.

and bein plastic isn't always bad

sometimes u're plastic to protect yourself

putting a fake smile to show the world u're fine

when actually you're dying slowly inside

plastic happens anytime and everywhere

i used to say i ain't plastic

but recently i realised i been giving plenty of fake smiles

like i'll be smiling when actually inside i'm sayin,

"FUCK YOU BITCH!"

Anyhoots... like some people say they wear a mask everyday
to hide their true identity from the world out there
being plastic is just the same
hiding your true feelings
and as long as i want to keep this secret of mine....
i will remain plastic.

set me free

2007-07-24T03:13:00.000+08:00

an eventful day that truly opened my eyes

my teary red eyes that is

no, i'm not crying because i didn't get what i wanted so badly.

I'm crying because, i'm lost.

As of tonight, i'm going to throw the word "trust" out of my vocabulary.

Might as well throw out "love" as well.

Lying to not hurt me

i rather u be honest

rather then i find out that u said something else, and do something else

like what you say, doesnt tally with what you're doing

Lying to make me happy

I rather you not

I rather be sad than find out my bestfriends said something untrue.

A tells B things....

B tells A things.....

both are my friends.....

but now i feel like i cant tell both of them anything

cause they started dating

they'll share their own secrets....

not to jeopardise the friendships i have with both, i'm backing out

yea i have a fragile heart

and all it needed was a gentle heart to love me back

something i'm beginning to think will never happen

so here i go, i'll lock my heart

make sure it's all sealed

then I'll throw the key into Mother sea

where it will sink to seabed.

so my memories will be locked inside

and i'll preserve my love for you

It's going to be hard to trust. Just like the boy who cried wolf.

Just hope in time to come, I'll cool down and everything will be back to normal

But for now, don't blame me if i'm fake. I need to learn to trust and be sincere again.

hugs and kisses........

DiL

Goin out to my hommies

2007-07-16T00:33:00.001+08:00

I wanna dedicate this entry to all those who have always been there for me. To peeps I just got to know.... and not forgetting those who have forgotten about me and also those who belonged to my past. Here goes.... in random order, not according to who I love the most to who I hate the most.

Sarah

I know there are times you feel I don't think of you or that I don't care. For instance when I didnt draw you in my sketch book when I drew almost everyone else. But darling you must know, I always have a sketch of you etched in my heart. People won't be able to see it. But I know it. There are times I do things that make you feel unimportant... i apologise. oh well, I'm a himbo. *winks* You're my bestie and I want you to always remember that and never to forget me even when I have graduated and leave school.

Jen

I love how you're always optimistic. Never ever looking at the bad side of things... I'll be so pessimistic and you'll always tell me to see the good stuff. ALso always bringing up my confidence level. I love your theory on why I'm still single after a year. No matter how I didnt want to believe it, the way you explained to me sounds so logical... so hard not to believe. My 2nd bestie in school!!!!!

Olsen

Thanks for introducing me to the group. I feel so short next to you, behind you, in front of you. What did you do to get so taaaall? Love the poses you do when you take pics. =) Love hanging out with you.

Jazzy

I don't know where to start. hee..... Nights are seldom boring considering I have you to talk on phone with. Most of the time we end up sleeping though. Been hanging out alot lately and love every moment of it. There's more I want to say but I guess I won't say it here on my blog. =P

Arghie

mah looooovely junkie babe! Love you soo much. I remember how she would say she misses me although I've only like met her the day before. Hilarious. I think she's a smooth talker too.... always calling me hot and makin me blush.

Dila

Lots of love and kisses from me to this lady....

Jade

I clicked with her straight after meeting her. Quite surprising cause normally, i'll be so shy i'll just keep quiet. We ended up chatting alot though. Hard to believe she's only 16. I don't care what people say, i think she's hot..... and ~~oh boy.... her boobs are huge.~~

Ashton

Those days were long over and I have managed to push you to the back. It was cold how you treated me.But now I just want to remember the good times and preserve it. I'll remember the fun we used to have.... ur company on the rooftop garden while I paint. All these will be in my memories forever. If I continue contacting you I think I'll only hate you even more for how you're treating me now. We're like barely even friends. So I'll only want to remember the good times....... by not contacting you. Anyway, it's not like you contact me anyway. I hope you'll remember me though when you look at that painting in your room. The painting that I painted just for you when you were going through hard times.

Dylan

Someone I was looking forward to meeting when he came back to singapore. But oh well.... someone's pretty busy. Lots of friends to meet. We didnt even talk on phone much. COz in the day busy sleeping or meeting friends.... nights, either out for supper or too tired to talk. 5 weeks of being here, we met for like what, less than 3 hours. I didnt even have a proper meal with him, he ate salad, his friend ate something, I watched. And in the blink of an eye.... someone's already left for Melbourne on the plane again. Not even a text before he left. Said would meet on Thur or Friday, then it was Saturday.... yea. He left on Sunday(today). Well see you online again soon once you start school. =)

Mizah

I miss this bitch of mine.... she's so KECOH!!!!!!! we kinda stopped hanging out too. I guess she's busy with work now. But would really love to meet her again soon. Got to know her coz we went for the same training for Starbucks. She never fails to cheer me up when I'm down. And you know what... when she first saw me in class, she thought I was a mat!

to be continued............ more to come.